Trading Up
Several months ago, Simon Rich wrote a humor piece for The New Yorker in which he imagined that boyfriends are traded like ball players . The male protagonist of the story is feeling pretty bummed about being traded to a new owner by his ex-grirlfriend when he arrives at his new owner's/girlfriend's apartment. But when his new owner tells him that she engineered the deal because she thought he'd be a "good deal," his spirits lift. Rich ends the piece thusly: "He wrapped his arms around her, laughing with relief. There was nothing like joining a new team; there was nothing like Opening Day." Which prompted me to write in the margin: "the excitement of the new, of possibility; of being desired." And every time I think about our need or desire for another person's desire, I think of Kojeve. And that invariably leads me to revisiting old haunts and setting out on new vistas. Begin with our desire to be desired. ...